Today, the pregnancy of another high school classmate, Rona, was announced in our batch e-group. I say another because just two weeks ago, Joy happily broke out the news that she’s five-weeks pregnant. Immediately after, Neil writes that his wife is on the way with their second baby.

Congratulatory messages virtually crammed our batch’s cyber space as well-wishes were also extended to Ira who’s due in a couple of months. I swear, I’ve lost track of who are currently sheltering fetuses in their wombs or anticipating kicks from their wives’ tummies. Not to mention the proud mommies and daddies of pre-schoolers and terrible twos.

All these happy news somehow compel me to think of my own fate. After all, these are people I’ve grown up with. And we weren’t just mere classmates who did most things separately. We were a tight unified bunch, cutting classes as a class — all bundled together inside a rickety old jeepney with some on the roof and others hanging by the driver’s side, risking life and limb, never mind good grades, all for Nelson’s town fiesta!

We lunched together, chattered noisily in the library, teased each other about our pimpled hair-sprayed glory. We shared answers to homeworks and cried foul when a teacher accused our Physics geniuses of cheating. These folks, who’ve witnessed my breasts grow from none to large, are getting pregnant and raising kids! How about me?!! Hehehe.

Kelan kaya ako mabubuntis? I think I was 18 when I first told my father that I plan to be pregnant by 25. Seeing, however, that by the time I reached my early 20s, I haven’t yet gotten around to experiencing intercourse for the primary reason that pregnancy scared me, I re-adjusted my motherhood schedule.

To prepare Papa’s mind which I perceived to be less open than Mama’s, I told him that even without a husband or partner, I was going to get myself pregnant when I get to 30. (Surprisingly, he found wisdom in my pronouncement and readily cheered me on. Hayayay!)

But of course, one cannot really plan out life and have everything happen on schedule.

Er, on second thought, maybe that is possible. Take, for instance, my friend Joy who’s now based in Singapore. She and hubby came back to the Philippines this June for a short vacation “ para gumawa ng baby”. They explicitly told us this on their first night back, over a get-together-dinner with the handful of classmates based here in Manila (because all the rest reside abroad! Oh yes, migration is the story of generations). Anyway, they holed up in Shangri-la Cebu for about a week and lo and behold!, a month later she tells us she’s pregnant.

Amazing. “Everything according to plan,” Binsoy posted.

So okay, assuming it is indeed true that one can plan and make babies come at the right time, aren’t we still subject to the unpredictability of the uncontrollable?

For example, it could not be helped that when I turned 30, I had just been re-initiated to the unattached life and was grooving to the novelty and strangeness of re-discovering my attractions. Besides, by then, I already knew that along with the joys of parenting is a whole package of emotional, psychological and financial challenges that one has to be ready for. Pregnancy was becoming less than a wish and more of a worry. My juvenile romantic fancy was slowly losing its appeal.

But not totally :). Because now at 33, I still want to have a child. Despite my worries and fears of how I’d fare, I also intuitively know that I may have been cut-out for motherhood. I like babies and kids, and I want to raise one with much love.

My psychic friend and teacher told me a couple of years ago, I was gonna have two boys. Perhaps, one will come in three years? 😛

And the loving father, sometime soon?

Hehehehehehe 🙂

 

 

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