That everything is never really as  it seems.

And that situations are constantly evolving.

That today was different from last night.

And tonight maybe unlike yesterday.

That tomorrows are times to look forward to.

And last year, a period to gain lessons from.

That the present, no matter how trying,

Is happiness, peace and love disguised.

That when all else shall come to pass,

Everything will be as it should have.

I think am having my third episode right now. Some would say this is an effect of my bipolar condition. I am open to that explanation. But there is so much more into this experience that I don’t think it could be simply reduced to that. Yet, terminologies, much like ideologies, are just that – words and perspectives people use so they get a better grasp of things, especially those that appear to be unfathomable. So if this is being what bipolar means, then I am happy to be bipolar.

This time, I am going to go about this in the right way. I am discovering that I can control the energy and the expansion of the mind. And unlike my previous awakenings, I am not going to rush this. I will set my own pace, mindful of my responsibilities and tasks. I am going to live my life normally.

Yet I will open up myself to experiences, but only those that I am prepared for and those that are not harmful to my body and mind and spirit. For now, it’s going to be experiences with people and situations instead of a certain spiritual practice. Maybe this is my path right now. And I will do it at a slow and steady pace, always.

I will make time to contemplate, catch the insights and write them down, even paint them, and who knows what other artistic expressions I will be inspired to do. I will express feelings in dance, in songs, in lovemaking, in conversations, in relationships, in work. I will be enriched by this experience which will continue for a lifetime. I will be in an unsuspended, controlled and managed episode forever.


Sent by my sister, Nancy, this made my day yesterday…. 🙂

That’s her, Mernalot, in the center. Hahahaha! Tambok ibok ibok, ka cute! Couldn’t quite believe how maunod she’s become. She’s put on a lot of weight since she left for a vacation in the US last February. My sisters must be feeding her real well! 😛

In the pic: Benjie the family dog, Yaya Ason, Manong Glen and Manang Cookie, Adrian, Christine, Manong Rudy and Manang Nancy. (Adrian and Christine are Rudy and Nancy’s kids.)

Today, the pregnancy of another high school classmate, Rona, was announced in our batch e-group. I say another because just two weeks ago, Joy happily broke out the news that she’s five-weeks pregnant. Immediately after, Neil writes that his wife is on the way with their second baby.

Congratulatory messages virtually crammed our batch’s cyber space as well-wishes were also extended to Ira who’s due in a couple of months. I swear, I’ve lost track of who are currently sheltering fetuses in their wombs or anticipating kicks from their wives’ tummies. Not to mention the proud mommies and daddies of pre-schoolers and terrible twos.